Why is it all a Competition?

Posted on June 19, 2012 at 10:15 AM

I often forget how I used to feel. And since we know that thoughts create feelings, how I used to think.

Now when I see and hear of people with malice and negativity I often find myself questioning how and why, not in judgement but more out of pity. I should try to empathize, I was there. I have come a long way but sometimes I too slip occasionally. 

I have come to realize that most of the time when people think ill of others or wish to inflict pain or hurt it comes from a place of insecurity more than anything else. I believe that people are inherently good but that we are conditioned to believe that we have to compete; that there isn't enough goodness, kindness, talent, beauty, success and ultimately happiness to go around.

But we create our own happiness. It is not something that happens to us or we are lucky to have or unfortunate to do without. As we well know there are many people who have very little and who are happier than most and likewise there are people with much who are miserable.

Happiness is a state of mind and a choice in how we respond to the happenings in our lives. That doesn't mean that crappy things won't happen, but we can condition ourselves to look for the good and the lessons in all things and we can CHOOSE to take the high road and live OUR OWN best life.

Too much time and energy is wasted on studying other people and their lives.

I have been struggling personally with issues between faith and religion (that's another post to come) but ultimately I am a Christian and I do believe in and strive to live out the Ten Commandments. What about not coveting our neighbor's belongings? Do we take that literally as in their house, car, clothes and other belongings or do we think outside of the box and look at their intelligence, skills, talents, successes....?

How does it take anything away from me if my friend is successful in something that I am not? Jealousy is a horrid thing.

What I have come to figure out is that most often people are jealous or covetous of your success when they feel that you are achieving something that they have not or can not achieve themselves; failing to realize that they are the only ones who control their success.

Society teaches us at a young age to pass the blame, not to accept responsibility for our actions, thoughts and feelings; but truth be told, they are the only things that we can control.

So the next time that you see someone who has something or who has done something that you want to have or do, why not use that as inspiration for your own action rather than tearing them down or belittling them? Why not reach out to them for help or advice? Move outside of your own insecurity and take control of YOUR life instead of worrying about those around you.

We all have issues. We all have struggles. We all have challenges. Maybe if we take more time to examine our own stumbling blocks, we might better be able to use them as stepping stones to guarantee our own success rather than wasting our time trying to trip up the "competition".

And if you live your life constantly looking over your shoulder thinking that everyone hates you and is out to get you or is judgeing you, then it might be time to consider this.....often what irritates us the most about other people simply mirrors what we dislike most about ourselves.

We are all a lot more a like than we care to admit.

Be clear about your priorities.

Set your goals.

Work everyday to achieve them.

Help others in what you are good at.

Ask for help in what you are not.

If we all do that, we will live our own lives being focused on our goals, supporting and encouraging others in reaching theirs and everyone wins.

Health and Happiness,


Categories: Stress Management & Self Care, Random Rambling

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1 Comment

Reply Kimberly Watkins
10:00 PM on September 6, 2012 
Wow, this message is so powerful! You really got my attention and can't wait to read and learn more!